A Fresh Start

I’ve been sitting on this information for a while, but earlier this week I decided it was about time I made it all a little more public: I quit my bookseller job after almost 8 years in the shop. This wasn’t a decision I made lightly – it was my first job, and I loved working with the staff. However, a position came up that was more suitable to my lifestyle (in particular, I get weekends off, now!)

I don’t want to dwell on the past. Not anymore. Over the past year, it’s become easier to let go of things I’d been clinging to so desperately for comfort and safety, and while a lot of it can be put down to “personal growth”, I do owe my friends a mention. Through YouTube and through my masters course, I’ve been able to meet some incredibly people who opened my eyes up to the possibilities of the world that I’d been too afraid to consider before.

Yes, afraid.

I know, a twenty-four-year-old man admitting to fear online is not exactly an adherence to the status quo. But fear is important. Specifically, how we deal with fear is life changing. I used to cower from the things that stood in my way, and to this day I’m not sure if it’s been fear of failure or fear of success. I’ve a friend who sways heavily towards suggesting the latter in many situations in life.

Leaving the shop was a big deal for me. It meant leaving the comfort of a familiar setting, with good friends and regular customers, and the same guarantees week-in, week-out, with only a couple of minor hiccups along the way. I left that for something new, something I hadn’t expected to even get. It was a month after my application that I heard anything about it.

And now I’ve been there for over a month, my thesis work is beginning in earnest, and I’m getting a grasp on my schedule in a way I’ve never been able to accomplish in the past. This is a fresh start, and a new way of living, and it seems the possibilities for my future are only getting brighter.

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About Paul Carroll

Paul Carroll is a writer, born, raised and still living in Dublin. By day he's a student and bookseller, by night he writes fiction and uses social media.
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